Narcotics Anonymous

Monday night I went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I am taking a class right now called "Chemical Dependency." One of the assignments due this semester, for that class, revolves around writing a paper on our experience of NA and AA meetings.

Going in I did not know what to expect, I was a little anxious, and I was wondering how many people would actually show up for something like this (especially it being in N.O.).

At first it seemed like it was only going to be guys that showed up, but as we waited a few women came in. We met in the fellowship hall of a small local Baptist church, we all sat around a large table, and overall about 15-20 people were there. As we were sitting there, I was looking around at all the people that had shown up -- I find I observe people more since I've been in the Psych and Counseling program (or perhaps now I just have a justification for such). For me the meeting was a slap in the face as far as reality goes; sitting in a classroom discussing the personality types, the mental disorders, the various therapies and procedures is a whole other world as compared to working face to face with actual people The individuals that had come were those that looked like they belonged there (if you want to stereotype an addict), those that didn't look like they belonged there, there were people that looked like they were in their early 20s and people that looked like they were in their late 60s, there were those that had been clean 10yrs and those that had been clean just 2 weeks -- all struggling, all hoping to stay clean, all needing and relying on one another, all taking it a day at a time.

If you've ever been to an NA meeting you know that the majority of the time spent is on allowing each person to share as they feel the need. It was during this time that so many stories of heartache, struggle and triumph were told.

One guy's story really hit my heart hard. He was sharing how just this week he would have been 12 days shy of being clean for 10yrs from heroine, crack, weed, you name it, except that he didn't make it ... he relapsed. And now he was fighting to win the trust of his wife (of 21yrs) back again. He said the reason he fell was because he had forgotten who he had been at the time in his life when drugs were his life. He had forgotten who he was and failed to remember who he now is. At which point another gentleman in the meeting spoke up and said, "well, you know what, every time I lie, it's because I also have forgotten who I was. Because that liar, that's my old self, my new self doesn't do that any more ... but that's something I've gotta take time to remember everyday."

And you know what? It's no different for me. Anything that hinders my relationship with God is a remnant of my old self, and I relapse everyday. Everyday I have got to take the time to remember who I am now, and at the same time not forget who I was. If I am in Christ I am a new creation, I have been given that second chance, no doubt, but in not forgetting what He's saved me from I am all the more in awe and so humbled because of what and where I am today.

Luke 7:41-48